wasters of time -some tips for sellers - all anonymous now.

I have changed the format a bit now - I have removed the names of folk who have double-headed me over the years. Why?

Well, they know who they are and by now should have at least been challenged over their actions. But to be fair it's not necessary for the hall of shame to go on forever - everyone should have a chance. Mind you not a single apology yet from the perps.

I've left the examples on and my update or remove these later.

The things people say when they really mean something else............

Please note this page is not to put people off - it's just to show how maddening it is when people go back on their word.

The point is if you say you are going to view the car, or buy the car or will return after paying a deposit -then please do it.

Anyone and everyone is welcome to view my 280 and even to drive it and if you don't buy - no problem - you won't get included on this page. The only people who go on the list are those who come up with some poppycock story and renege on an arrangement - pure and simple. Hope this clarifies this page. Thanks.

Whether you're a seller or a buyer - how do you know when people are being honest with you?
Here are some classics I've had when selling my last few 280s (apart from the fact it shows that most are dreamers - it's a real time waste - they know it before they start but you only find out after you've spent ages supplying pics and details) - All true ones.

Classic #1 " I haven't got a garage - so I'll have to leave it" Meaning = Got up this morning and found I had no garage! What am I?
Classic #2 " Well, I have another three to look at" - Meaning = I only wanted to find out your bottom line.
Classic #3 " I thought I had the money in the bank, but I've only got £3000" Doh!
Classic #4 " My central heating boiler just packed in, so my money's got to go on that" Meaning = True, actually.
Classic #5 " We had an argument last night and it's causing too much tension at home so I'll have to leave it" Meaning = guess who wears the trousers in my house?
Classic #6 " My insurance company hasn't paid out yet" Meaning = I'm just kicking tyres
Classic #7 " will call tomorrow...hopefully with the go ahead, promise i'm not a "tyrekicker"..........Meaning = I'm just kicking tyres, but I'll never admit it, oh and I won't call you back either.
Classic #8 " will consult Mrs this evening...usually get my own way, but always best to ask first............" Meaning = Blame the missus when I don't call you back. Let's me off the hook.
Classic #9 " I'm a bit of a collector myself...........I definately will not waste your time" Meaning = I am in fact a time waster but can't bring myself to say it.
Classic #10 " Send me the pics and I'll let you know" Meaning = I just want your pictures
Classic #11 " I'm gonna have to pull out mate, I've got a lot of problems" Meaning = Now you've got problems as well. It's good to share.
Classic #12" I want the car for my father, we'd like to see it on 23rd August........................" Meaning = Search me, I'm still waiting for PW from Peterboro to turn up on 23rd August 2003. Hello??

Classic #13" But the book says £6,000" Meaning = Please drop three grand off your value. * Ed note (book? what book? there's no 'book' for a pristine 280 that you want for yourself - strange but true - if you ever refer to 'Glasses' or 'Parkers Guide' when talking to someone about a Capri 280 you're on a loser before you begin)

Classic #14 " I'm flying in from USA on March 26th 2003 - I'll get down to you - tell them it's sold!" Meaning = No sign, no call, no email - if you hold your breath waiting for the most convincing of callers you will, of course, die.

Classic #15 "sorry mate my missus to be has gone mental she thinks I'm spending too much on a car when we need to spend it on a new house" Meaning = I knew from the outset that I couldn't afford it but I'm a dreamer -hope you enjoyed the experience of hearing all my problems and send me all those nice pictures.

Monday 16th Jan 2006 -

Classic #16 "I'll buy the car - will collect on Friday - here's a deposit" Telephoned 2 days later "Your not going to like me but I'm pulling out - I can't afford it - not enough disposable income....."Meaning = I have no idea how to manage my life, my finances nor do I care very much about the hassle and grief I cause other people. Watch out if you get a guy from Glastonbury phoning to see your Capri.............if you do, let me know and tell you who it is - will save you endless hours of hospitality and distruption to your life.

and still they come ......5 th Feb 2006 -

Classic #17 "I am very, very interested in buying one of your brooklands turbo's if still for sale . I am no time waster" Arranged a viewing and test drive date agreed for viewing Sunday 12th Feb - no phone call, no show and only when I force the issue by email do I get this - "Apologies, but due to unforseen circumstances I couldn't make it" "Meaning = I am prepared to break my word after promising to turn up and see your car and stating categorically I am no 'time waster' I cannot honour my word and I'll not tell you that I'm not coming either. all it took was a phone call to say you are backing out - a simple phone call to save me waiting in all day and valetting the car for you. I even asked you to phone me back and talk this through, (not to try and sell the car to you as I'll not do that ever), but to explain what time wasters do to ordinary folk, but you never responded to that. I even gave you notice via this page before and after, to please NOT waste my time and still you did it. You have no right to trouble people like this - it's plain unfair.

Classic #18 - just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water!......22nd June 2006

This example is possibly the worst to date and therefore I have to name and shame - the people concerned had read this page, knew the score and still did this to me.

Early in Feb 2006 I had an email from a guy - he was very interested in one of my Capri 280's - I sent him many pictures of the cars and sometime during the next month he decided he wanted to buy. Enter step Mum - She began dialog via email and telephone and I discovered she was funding the car from a huge 6 figure inheritance. I actually got the full family history into the bargain but in the end I agreed to hold the car until the windfall came through. I went against better judgement and held the car with no deposit under wraps. I agreed not to advertise the car or tell anyone it was for sale - thus honouring my side of the deal.

Each week I would get updates from Violet and I felt I could trust this family. It felt good.

It was tricky dealing with the person funding and also the person who would drive and 'own' the car but it seemed to make some sense.

I held the car for 4 months losing road tax, MOT time and re-sale possibilities.

Come 22nd June and I had already arranged for the guy to collect the car the following Saturday and even arranged a 12 month test for him. Just after midnight I get the email from step mum stating she was pulling out of the deal (yes, the very day the 6 figure sum cleared in her account) Cruel irony or what?. The reason? Family issues between real son and step son!! Blood / water etc. Be warned - never get involved with situations like this. Run a mile if someone tells you they are buying the car for another person!

I could not believe this - aren't verbal contracts like this binding in English Law? - I was deceived right up to the last minute of the last day and then they pulled the plug without even a phone call. I have decided not to take legal action to enforce the contract - not because I can't - it's because now I don't want this family to actually own a Capri 280 of mine!

I had always given the benefit of the doubt to people despite all the horror stories and messing about - but this time this family have finished that. Never again to be caught.

It's either a deposit or no deal. I never asked to be embroiled in what is clearly a 'domestic' situation but I was drawn in. I believed them. I trusted them.

Sorry this is a long winded account but I fel so strongly I had to post it. I have given notice to the family I would do it.

Classic #19 - A bloke from Manchester called me to offer me a NOS Mk 1 boot lid - told me the price, I made an offer, then offered the full amount. Went up north to collect one weekend and good old ?? never returned my calls or my texts. What a waster. Why oh why do these people exist? Why the just the need to mess others around? Be warned these folk are out there.

Update: just had a text from a bloke purporting to be ?? (not from Manchester) - who is now 'threatening' me! - because, er, he broke a deal with me and is now transferring his guilt to me......... You can't make this stuff up. If people kept their word it wouldn't be a problem. Ah well, I suppose discourtesy and threats of violence go together in some families. It's on record.

Anyone and everyone is welcome to view my 280 and even to drive it and if you don't buy - no problem - that's what classic car ownership is all about - I love talking about my Classic 280's with people.

When someone comes to see my car we are hospitable and it is an enjoyable experience whether my car is sold or not. The only people who go on the 'list' are those who make a promise, never update you and/or renege on an arrangement - pure and simple. That is time wasting - not to mention a very trashy way to treat people. Hope this clarifies this page.

See Tip Number 9 below - how can I make it clearer for you? Thanks.

Can anyone offer an answer to this? I try to be 100% up front with folk - I honour my arrangements - try to avert time wasters by posting this page - they read the page - make assurances based on this page and STILL mess up your life................. Is this a national disease or what? I cannot comprehend some people.

Reason for this page is to help others who may fall victim to 'wordsmiths' who have all the talk but no intention of buying or viewing - if this applies to you then all I ask is for a clear understanding that you are a 'buyer' or 'just looking' - and if you don't intend to call back then say so - it will show a basic common courtesy and we are all adult enough to accept that. But 15-30 mins on the phone each time just whittles away my life and yours as well to no avail.

Wonder how long this list will get - I hear some folk like reading this section as it gives them a laugh, hope I don't have to keep it going as it means I'm being messed about. Good here innit?

Tips:-

1. Never, ever consider it sold until the money is in your account.

2. Never negotiate by email only - always insist on a phone call - it's easier to be messed about by email.

3. Never negotiate a price before they've seen the car - it's another ruse to take your time - how can you haggle over a vehicle that you've not seen?

4. Never take someone's 'word' on a deal - there is very little honour in buying a car it seems.

5. Always insist on a good deposit to hold a car.

6. Let the car sell itself if it's good enough - if it's not good enough dump it!

7. Never sound desperate - that frightens even Quentin Wilson.

8. Expect to be let down - it's the British way. see above.

9. If you are prone to impetuosity yourself - think it over for a while before inflicting your initial hankering on an unsuspecting seller. If you are still convinced you want to take the purchase to the next stage then make the call. Trust me by delaying you'll prove to yourself whether you're one of the few genuine buyers or a waster.

10. I am learning that people get very excited about owning a Capri 280 - sleepless nights, stress etc etc. It's easy to let heart rule head. So please think long and hard - if at the end of the day you want to go for it - then let's go for it. I'll do my best for you. Got very encouraging testimonies from the new owners of my Brookies if needed.

So, you are serious? Good. You have the means? Excellent - then please contact me. I know and have owned some of the best 280's in the land.

I'll do everything to make sure you are delighted with your rare Brooklands. They don't call me 'Dr Brooklands' in the Capri world for nothing.

If not ready to buy just yet?, then please look for other 280's first - then call me and I'll introduce you to a great 280. Almost like Speed Dating innit? Well it is if you drive one of my Turbo Technics versions............ another story.